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Honestly, this deserves a thread, my mind is sometimes fabulous, and I have to show this to the wider public since I won The fart of the year award on @Gambit profile, the competition was fierce, but what can I say, @Nessos, @Rej and others brains simply haven't farted out enough yet.
To methaporize; I'd especially like to dedicate this to Mafia players of TB especially to most townies whos brains seem to have farted out in the recent games making us, the poor townies of TB to be be massacred in the past few games. Honorable mentions go to dead confirmed townies of the ongoing Wano game @Dragomir @FELI D AEROM @Jinri @Michelle @Nessos @AL.
And you know what they say, 'home is where your fart is.'
Ahem, stupid me, the female part of the tagged honorees can disregard this since women totally don't fart.
Ahem, without further ado:
General farts:
#1 Classic fart vulgaris: A fart for every occasion, not particularly stinky and especially applicable during easy walks. It should not be dropped in anger or over enthusiasm as it could be deceiving. It should be selflessly shared with friends and close relatives.
#2 Poetic saloon fart - salonis phoetida: A lurking, silent and intensely smelly fart, typical for indoors when struck with a lack of desire to get up and go outside for a discharge at a more convenient location. It is enough to morph the innocent faces of your roommates to faces of disgust.
#3 Simulated cough fart: A fart concealed by a simulated cough attack. It belongs to the more risky types of farts because it requires the person to have a measured, well dosed thrust and good coordination. Most commonly applied in offices, cafes, cinemas, etc. If executed after a spicy meal it has the same effect as tear gas.
#4 Morning glory fart - matutinis albae: Is there any better way to start a new day than discharge one hefty, greasy fart under your warm blanket the moment you first open our eyes? You will notice with immense pleasure how your partner immediately rolls out of bed at a speed that could never be expected from someone who just woke up. Executing this fart provides you with a weird sense of accomplishment.
#5 Volcanic fart - deflagrantae
vulcanica: So scary and so hated. Executing them give you a feeling that is very similar to waxing: as if the hairs on your ass are pulled away
by the patch. These farts are so special and unique that they can be individually named, just like you would name your pets or give nicknames to close friends.
Silent farts:
Silent fart #1 The dog whistle fart - Almost ultrasonic and barely audible for human ear, but therefore very strongly present in the nostrils. It's also called 'the devilish fart', which is due to the smell of sulfur and overall reactions to it which are almost always accompanied with questions such as: 'What in the devil' s name have you ate for fcking God sake?'
Silent fart #2 The plague fart - A completely silent fart that inevitably provokes a storm of contemptuous indignation.
It is applicable in overcrowded trams,
buses, trains, subways. Only 2 discharges are enough to reach above the seating areas to get a free sitting spot for yourself in this overcrowded situations.
To methaporize; I'd especially like to dedicate this to Mafia players of TB especially to most townies whos brains seem to have farted out in the recent games making us, the poor townies of TB to be be massacred in the past few games. Honorable mentions go to dead confirmed townies of the ongoing Wano game @Dragomir @FELI D AEROM @Jinri @Michelle @Nessos @AL.
And you know what they say, 'home is where your fart is.'
Ahem, stupid me, the female part of the tagged honorees can disregard this since women totally don't fart.
Ahem, without further ado:
General farts:
#1 Classic fart vulgaris: A fart for every occasion, not particularly stinky and especially applicable during easy walks. It should not be dropped in anger or over enthusiasm as it could be deceiving. It should be selflessly shared with friends and close relatives.
#2 Poetic saloon fart - salonis phoetida: A lurking, silent and intensely smelly fart, typical for indoors when struck with a lack of desire to get up and go outside for a discharge at a more convenient location. It is enough to morph the innocent faces of your roommates to faces of disgust.
#3 Simulated cough fart: A fart concealed by a simulated cough attack. It belongs to the more risky types of farts because it requires the person to have a measured, well dosed thrust and good coordination. Most commonly applied in offices, cafes, cinemas, etc. If executed after a spicy meal it has the same effect as tear gas.
#4 Morning glory fart - matutinis albae: Is there any better way to start a new day than discharge one hefty, greasy fart under your warm blanket the moment you first open our eyes? You will notice with immense pleasure how your partner immediately rolls out of bed at a speed that could never be expected from someone who just woke up. Executing this fart provides you with a weird sense of accomplishment.
#5 Volcanic fart - deflagrantae
vulcanica: So scary and so hated. Executing them give you a feeling that is very similar to waxing: as if the hairs on your ass are pulled away
by the patch. These farts are so special and unique that they can be individually named, just like you would name your pets or give nicknames to close friends.
Silent farts:
Silent fart #1 The dog whistle fart - Almost ultrasonic and barely audible for human ear, but therefore very strongly present in the nostrils. It's also called 'the devilish fart', which is due to the smell of sulfur and overall reactions to it which are almost always accompanied with questions such as: 'What in the devil' s name have you ate for fcking God sake?'
Silent fart #2 The plague fart - A completely silent fart that inevitably provokes a storm of contemptuous indignation.
It is applicable in overcrowded trams,
buses, trains, subways. Only 2 discharges are enough to reach above the seating areas to get a free sitting spot for yourself in this overcrowded situations.
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