Brawl Weapon's Fight in Niflheim

[Larsi]

Thread by: @joby and @Roogy

Original post by: Roogy

Attacks and Dodges / "Speech" / Thoughts / Narrator Voice

Weapon opened his eyes. Stars in the sky gave only a small amount of light to the mysterious location he now found himself in. It was cold, dark, and damp, and in the darkness he could barely see the outlines of thick mists drifting around him. Where am I this time? Niflheim? Bakya, it sure feels like it.

Weapon had found himself in the place he had feared ever since he started believing. The dark realm where the dishonourable spend their lives in eternity, Niflheim.

Wait, I'm really in Niflheim? What the hell is going on? he thought.

He sensed a woman behind him.

"Hello, Weapon. I've been waiting for you for quite some time."

"Who are you?" he asked, fearing that he knew the answer.

"You know who I am. I am the goddess of death, Hel."

"So, where are we?"

"These are the outskirts of Niflheim. My father has been testing you lately, and this is your last test. Fight this next opponent to earn your freedom. Refuse, and your soul will be mine."

"Wait, Loki has been testing me?"

Give the boy a prize! Truly, I did wonder how long before I could make the truth apparent.

"In any case, I will shed some light into the darkness so that you may fight your opponent," said Hel.

This isn't like the last two fights, I'm a little stronger than I was before. Still, I can feel the energy of my opponent. They will be more of a challenge as well.

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: joby
Jobymamushi..... once again..... had found himself awaking in a strange and foreign place. Rising to his feet, the rather sizable Proboscis Monkey Mink, groped around in the darkness as his eyes adjusted, and the slight ringing in his ears faded.

Oi, m'I having another rotten dream again? HEEHEE!

The world around him began to come into focus as his eyes adjusted themselves to the veiled darkness, the invisible light, which everything around him exuded softly. He felt cold. The space around him seemed like a frozen cave, the nearest boundary of which was beyond even the reach of his gomu gomu. Massive icy protrusions reached down from the roof of the Crevasse--or was it a cave?--Jobymamushi couldn't make up his mind.
"OI! CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME!?!? YAAAHAAAHAAA!!!"

Nothing.

Jobymamushi waited some time before slumping back down onto the ground in total boredom, and sick of waiting, decided to curl up, grab his ankles, and begin rolling slowly toward the direction his warrior's soul had told him was the exit!

As he rolls along his merry way, snow begins to cling to his clothing and his white fur, eventually building him up into a massive Joby-sized snowball!

Completely out of control, the snowball is moving along at its own pace, Jobymamushi unable to stop its trajectory. Poking his rubbery head out of it, Jobymamushi almost craps his pants when he sees that he is rolling along a wire-thin icey 'bridge' winding through a darkness he can sense no bottom to--

Something moving in the darkness catches Jobymamushi's eye. He cannot clearly make it out....but the figure, even with the distance between them.... is the largest thing Joby had ever seen in his life.

Tears well up in the grown Mink's eyes as he forces a toothy smile to reassure himself.

What have I done?

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: roogy

The misty darkness that Weapon found himself in began to brighten as Hel had predicted it would. However, there was no-one there.

Is this some sort of joke? I know Loki is the trickster God, but why would Hel entertain his deceptions? They may be related, but they are nothing alike...

Oh, the places you'll go! Here and there, to and fro! Niflheim holds answers to the questions you know.

Oh, you're speaking in rhyme now? Just when I thought you couldn't get any more annoying.

"My father speaks the truth, Weapon," said Hel. "Somewhere in Niflheim, your opponent awaits you. You sensed their energy earlier... that is because I made it apparent to you."

"You can do that?"

"Here in Niflheim, the rules are mine to establish, little one. Here's your opponent's vivre card, so go seek him out."

Hel handed Weapon the vivre card. As she did so, he was able to see her properly for the first time. She had horrific scars all across her body, one which was skinny and twisted around like a vine. She was also twice his height, and her face was the one Weapon had seen in his nightmares. Lifeless eyes that were impossible to look into, scars all across her face, and a mouth concealing carnivorous teeth and a forked tongue. She wore plate-armour that appeared to be made from leaves.

"Helelelel, I see you now know what I look like. Not many can gaze upon the face of Hel and live. In any case, perhaps there will come a day where we can meet again."

Weapon was thoroughly unnerved, but now that Hel had disappeared into the shadows, he stopped thinking about the image of her appearance, and started on his journey to find his opponent. The vivre card pointed forward, towards an eerie light in the distance.

Here goes, he thought.

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: joby
Slow your roll Stupid Joby! Slow your roll!!!

Jobymamushi could not slow his roll.

As he gathered speed, and took on more mass as snow gathered and gathered around him, his attempts to manipulate his velocity only managed to create the slightest bit of wobble..... knocking himself off of the narrow path he had been treading.....
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA............."

As the giant snowball of a mink flew through the darkness into the abyss below, he waited for his life to flash before his eyes...... but no such romantic whimsy graced his mind, only raw terror, excitement, horror, and glee with no words or image behind it.

As he fell through space, he could feel eyes all around him, it felt as though large slithering tongues were lapping up all around him, but could see nothing, only feel the chill it sent down his spine..... and the eyes.... the glaring, lustful eyes.... nowhere to be seen. Strange glowing insect like creatures drifted about, tiny little things--were they so tiny? Or was it simply that they were enormous and even more enormously far away?

His senses felt both heightened and dulled. He had no way for sure of knowing if his mind was simply playing tricks on him.... or if all of this was somehow real....

Where the hell am--

--THUD!

With a blinding crash, the mink hit solid ground and his snowy enclosure exploded into an eruption of powdery crystals of frozen water which glimmered like a thousand stars.

His head was a little rattled, and his brain felt like it was going to dribble out of his giant scarred up fleshy nose, but as his eyes adjusted, he could see the icy path before him, lit by cool blue flames, leading toward a monstrously convoluted stairway of ice that twisted and turned and scaled downward further into the strange darkness before him. As he walked down the steps, strange, vaporous and slimy black hands materialized from the ice and attempted to grab at his ankles--but merely passed through him.... leaving I'm with an unpleasant and creepy sensation. Sensing that they could neither hold him nor harm him, but only grope longingly at his fleshy form, he decided it best to just ignore them and put it out of his mind....

Slapping both cheeks with his hands, Joby resolves to enjoy his vacation in this strange land!

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: roogy
As he walked through the misty darkness, doubt began to plague the back of his mind. Why do Hel and Loki think I am worthy of their sadistic mind games? he thought. Surely their plans could have had anyone else in mind...

You want to discover our true intentions, do you? Good luck with that.

I will discover what they are up to... sooner or later.

The mists around him faded as he approached a dim blue light. The light grew bigger as he came closer. Eventually, the source of the light came into focus, and he found himself at the entrance of a large cave, the inside of which seemed to be made entirely of ice. He looked around the entrance, trying to see if what he could see on the inside of the cave matched the outside, but it did not. The outside of the cave matched the misty darkness he had just came from, but somehow that dark, formless ground concealed large ice caves.

Weapon was breathless at the sight before him, but began to breathe again after Loki's voice popped into his head.

Remember to breathe, buddy. You have a challenge to fulfil. Your opponent lies somewhere beyond these ice caves. Oh, and I wouldn't worry about the cold. It's just an illusion.

Wait, why are you helping me? Shouldn't you want me to fail?

I may be testing you, but it is not me who wants you to fail. That would be Hel. The two of us have vastly different goals.

Weapon hardly knew how to feel about all of this. The trickster God was testing him, putting him through all manner of discomfort, and yet, was not willing to let his soul be eternally possessed by the Goddess of Death? There was something strange going on, and there was no clear answer to what exactly it was. At least, not that he could see as of now.

As he climbed down into the icy cavern, he began to wonder how the cave was so well-lit. He soon brushed it off as something that just is, and continued walking through the cave. He walked by an ice wall, and discovered a large, unsettling shape within it.

How bizarre, he thought. It looks to be some kind of plesiosaur in the ice. Niflheim sure is a lot stranger than I could have imagined.

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: joby
As Jobymamushi walked further and further down the icy stairs, the strange shadows continued to lap longingly at his legs as he pushed forward unfazed but for the creepy chill it sent down his spine.

He was really starting to get freaked out by it to be honest and was having trouble putting them out of his mind—which was now wandering to all sorts of unpleasant places.
Calm down, Joby.

Taking his massive fist…… and shoving it into his mouth!— his mind became perfectly calm and he no longer wondered about the strange apparitions of hungry ghosts.

As he walked, his tail, which was exceptionally long, held his keepsake, his Master’s tiger fork, well within its grasp—ready to put the monstrous weapon to work at a moment’s notice.

“Poor, pitiful creature!” an icy voice echoed out from all directions, seemingly emanating from his own skull.
Oi, what the hell, that’s not what my thoughts usually sound like…. NANI?!

“Oi! Oi! Keep your pity! Keep it!” Joby blurts out making a disgusted face and sticking out his tongue.

“You have been selected by my own choosing…. to ‘test’ a certain would-be-hero ha! As you continue onward…. up ahead you will find the fated meeting place of your duel to the death! Go now, and fell your target so my father will finally shut up! Hel commands it.”

“—Hey now!? What do you think this is? A manga?! Put me back where you found me! ‘Would-be-heroes’?! Father and Daughter disputes?! I’ll have no part of it! It’s got nothing to do with me. Leave me out of it! Drop me back in the mud please and thank you! And who the Hell is Hel?!”

The gigantic shadowy figure of a woman began to materialize from the shadows, he haunting silhouette floating before him, two piercing red eyes glaring in disgust at the mink shot through the darkness.

“You incredulous mongrel, I should cut out your tongue, gouge out your eyes, peel away your flesh—“

Tired of listening, as the list of unpleasantries was growing quite long, Joby threw his fist at the woman’s face. It merely passed through her as it would through an illusion made only of smoke, as her faced dispersed and wrapped back up around itself, unfazed by Joby’s attack.

A frustrated look came across the woman’s face as she glared back at Jobymamushi, rolled her eyes, and snapped her fingers. No sooner had the sound rung out then Joby’s world went black and he felt his body rapidly falling through space and another --THUD! as he smashed into the ground. Rising to his feet, his stomach felt like it was in his throat as he wretched violently, vomiting up bile and stomach acid from the motion sickness caused by the quick involuntary venture through space.



"Dumb bitch…. " he growled softly as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Looking around he could see that he was now standing at the center of a massive arena of ice… walls of blue flame staging the perimeter in every direction.

Falling over backwards, and landing limply on his back… Jobymamushi stared blankly and wide eyed at the massive icicles in the distance overhead of the arena he was now trapped in like a toddler on time-out….

“I’m in hell.”

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: roogy
Weapon continued to wander through the ice caves, wondering why his trip to Niflheim wasn't nearly as dreadful as he had thought it would be.

It's because you're only a visitor. If you were an eternal resident, you'd be having way less of a pleasant experience.

Could you leave me alone, Loki? I don't even want to be here... and I still don't know why me of all people.

Loki was no longer talking, and the silence actually surprised Weapon. Perhaps I can actually get some peace and quiet for once, he thought.

The ice caves seemed to go on and on, but after a while he found himself at the edge of a cliff. He looked around and saw that in front of him there was a large arena. Almighty Thor, how am I going to get down there?

Of course you'd use my brother's name before mine! How insensitive do you have to be? Erm, I mean, carry on.

He spotted a pile of snow below him and decided that would be where he lands. Jumping from the ledge, he fell about one hundred metres, though the snow broke his fall. What he was unaware of, however, was the snow underneath the heap, which he soon realised he was somewhat stuck in. With some difficulty, he wiggled one arm out of its position and used that arm to pull himself upwards, freeing his other arm. Now using both arms, he climbed the snow wall that had formed after his dive, until he was completely out of the snow hole.

Well, that was a little more trouble that it was worth. Or actually no, it was better than broken legs.

He looked at the arena in front of him. A great, round cavern with icicles protruding from the ground and ceiling. I wonder what a place like this is even doing here.

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: joby

As Jobymamushi lied in the bizarre and hellish glorified iceskating arena of his nightmares, gazing up at the icicles above, he let his mind wander all sorts of places.
He wondered if Xatchy-tan and Shalki-tan were getting along while he was away.
The lingering sour taste in his mouth from vomiting earlier had given him quite the craving for salted plums...
He thought it was strange that he didn't feel cold in such a setting. Even his back on the ice felt as warm as ever.
Turning his head to the side he drew saliva and snot into his mouth and with a pretty obnoxious sound collected it there into a wad he promptly spat out onto the ice beside him--it bounced (as rubber does) then froze in mid-air and shattered upon the second impact.
Huh....like I'm here, but I'm not here....

Joby closed his eyes and fell asleep. A giant rubbery snot bubble waxing and waning from the end of his monstrous nose.

JOBY’S DREAMLAND
you have someplace to be!

Jobymamushi slowly rose up to his feet, surrounded in a fog. He felt that maybe if he were lucky, he could spend his time here instead until whoever it was that was trying to mess with him in the snow palace got bored and put him back where he was supposed to be.
Feeling an itch on his headlamp, he raised his left arm to scratch it, but thought it was strange that he could not feel his fingers scratch it, instead something hard furry and club-like just clumsily whacked at it instead.

As the fog began to clear, Joby could hear a faint voice emerging--
'joby....'

'joby......'
'Oi! Shit-fer-brains! D'you lose your ears too?!?'

Rubbing his eyes with the back of his left hand--which felt more like the back of a wrist for some reason... Joby's vision cleared and he saw the vague but unmistakable silhouette of his beloved master, No Name, standing before him.
Joby:"Oi! Master! Where the hell are we!?"
No Name: "How would I know a thing like that!? Am I supposed to be a cartographer or something!?"
Joby:"What kind of a question is that!? How should I know what you are and are not supposed to be!? Am I supposed to be a psychic of something!?"
No Name: "How the hell would I know a thing like that!? Am I supposed to be a god or something!?"
Joby: "Oh God! How the hell should I know?!"
No Name: "Well if you don't know the answer, and I don't know the answer, are you gonna make someone else figure it out for you then?! .......oh yeah, what happened to your hand?"
Joby: "What hand?" Joby said holding both hands out in front of his face, only to realize that the left one was missing.
Joby: "Oh! My hand is gone."

Back in Niflheim, Jobymamushi slept in the center of the strange icy arena that had been conjured by the loathsome goddess of this realm, completely unaware of the familiar face he was about to encounter..... and the battle that fate had in store for them.

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: roogy
Taking in the sight that surrounded him, Weapon was unclear of his next move. He had been told that he would find his opponent ahead of him, but he did not want to believe it. He had no interest in fighting anyone, even though the Gods had given him an ultimatum. Either I fight, or my soul is lost to an eternity of agony and despair. That's a fair choice, now, isn't it?

He walked across the ice, noting that it was a lot more slippery and smooth than the ice he had been walking on before. He tried not to slip and fall over, but it was a difficult task. If only I had ice skates, he thought. His each and every step was a careful one, as if one foot were not properly positioned, he would surely slip when lifting the other. He had taken about five steps forward when he realised that he should be more aware of his surroundings.

He looked around and saw the cavern's many icicles, some protruding from the ground as stalagmites, and others hanging from the ceiling as stalactites. In one nearby icicle, he saw his reflection, distorted to be rounder and shorter than he actually was. For a brief moment after, he felt as if someone was watching him, and so activated his observation haki. A drop of water had fallen from a stalactite behind him. About eighty metres away, the presence of a strange creature lay dormant, as if it were sleeping. It was clear that the creature was not the one watching him.

"Oh, for me's sake, I'm the one watching you dummy!" said Loki.

This time it was not simply a disembodied voice in Weapon's head. No, Loki stood in front of him this time. He was over ten feet tall, and his face was like a black hole. The former could barely look the latter in the eye, and for the brief moment that he did, he felt his joy drain away and his problems seemed worse.

"If you felt that, then perhaps you understand why I need your soul to go to Valhalla. I may be the God of Mischief, but my daughter Hel has wreaked havoc I never thought possible. She has stolen my true face, and keeps it locked away somewhere deep in Niflheim. I cannot return to Asgard without it."

"What does my soul have to do with any of that?"

"Hel sees believers like you and wishes to tear them to shreds in the afterlife. Odin himself believes that if a new believer ever made it to Valhalla, he would wage the final war of the Nine Realms. Such a war is my best chance to take back my stolen face."

"But that war would be the end of the world. You would only be with your face for a brief moment before everything ceases to be."

"I am prepared for that. In any case, this is not something you should worry about. The trials of Gods are above the trials of man."

These words made Weapon quite uncomfortable. Holy Thor, to separate man from God when the two have seen eye to eye...

"Even when I'm standing right here, you still use his name over mine! Well, good luck with your challenge."

With that, Loki disappeared. Weapon was now on his own again, to walk across the ice and meet his supposed opponent.

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: joby
JOBY’S DREAMLAND
you have someplace to be! part 2!

Eyeing the stump at the end of his arm that should normally have been followed by his hand (eyeing it so hard his eye shoulda popped out), Joby looked a little annoyed by the thing.
No Name: Do you resent it?
Joby: NO! I was only borrowing it anyways--what is there to resent! And besides--it's not like I can't still pick my nose Stupidmaster! See?!

Jobymamushi proceded to shove the entire stump up his left nostril--which of course stretched out wildly to accommodate his much larger forearm--and then giving the arm a lil' twisty motion like you might with a pipe cleaner, when he was finished he pulled it out and found that the last 1/3 of his arm had snot and mucus sticking all over the fur. Licking it daintily off with his tongue, like a little cat, Joby was quite pleased with himself. No Name didn't look very pleased however.

No Name: Listen Joby, this world is one of many! They are part of a Bigger World! No matter where you go danger will find you, until you are beyond it all in that Great and Boundless Field! Now wake your ass up, and get out of this 'Hell' and go! You have someplace to be!
Hel: Indeed....
Jobymamushi whipped around in the direction he had heard his captors voice come from! The fog turned grey and then black and violently flew through the air in every direction, swirling about like a tempest!

Strange figures frolicked about a beautiful woman sitting on a throne of shadows, two others arguing in front of her. The strange black fog howling through the air. As Joby's eyes met the beautiful woman's, she cracked a wicked smile, revealing rows of pointed fangs. The flesh dripped off of half her face, revealing the skull underneath. Her eyes turned red and burrowed deep into the back of Joby's own skull until--
He was back in the Ice rink. Without getting up or moving he simply stared back up at the now familiar icicles hanging overhead. Uninvited guests seemed to be a theme of his dreams recently. He raised his left arm out in front of his face and saw that his hand was still there. The white fur going up the back of it and ending just before his large pink knuckles, the skin of which was rough from years of hard work and harder training.

He still--really--had no idea what he was doing here or where this was, what his dream had meant, or how he was going to get home. Standing back up, he gazed out in front of him and saw a figure emerging from the darkness.

"Great. Who's come to disturb my mind now?"

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: roogy
Weapon could scarcely believe the predicament he had found himself in. Embroiled in the plans of Gods... to either be Loki's chance to regain his stolen face, or to be... whatever Hel wanted. It seemed that she just wanted his soul because she is the Goddess of Death, but surely there had to be more to it. As he pondered, he took carefully planted steps across the smooth and slippery ice. Before he knew it, he had worked out a rhythm. He was now twenty metres closer to the strange presence he had felt earlier.

As he walked further, he sensed movement coming from the same direction as the presence. He activated his observation haki to see what it was. Sure enough, the creature in the distance was moving. He sensed it stand up, and then heard it talking.

Disturb his mind? Does he think this is all a dream? I wish it was all a dream. Unfortunately, the rules of this place seem too consistent with my expectations for this to be a dream. Though I suppose a lucid dream may not be out of the question.

Weapon had sensed it from the moment he had first become aware of this stranger's presence. Whatever or whoever they were... they were strong. Though it was hard to assess whether they posed a threat. Their spirit seemed to emanate Schrodinger's Paradox... like they were both threatening and non-threatening until they could be observed in either state. It made Weapon both excited and uncomfortable.

This was not like his other strange fights. Those two were nothing like this new individual. It almost made him wish that he did not have to fight. He had this feeling as if he should befriend the stranger. Why he felt this way, he could not be sure, but it was at odds with his own interests. He did not want his soul to be the property of Hel. He did not want to be denied Valhalla.

He continued on, now about thirty metres from the other creature. He could now see it clearly. He stopped in place. Oh, it's just a person, he thought. The shape and mind seemed unusual, so I thought it might have been a creature native to Niflheim. But as it turns out, it's just a monkey-man. Well, that explains the feeling I had that this person could be my friend. Now, what to do about fighting?

"Hello there," he shouted at the monkey-man standing thirty metres away from him. "Wanna be friends?"

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: joby
As the figure emerged from the hazy darkness that was this strange place, Jobymamushi could make out the features of a man. He was a little more than half Joby's height, and one could hardly say there was anything outwardly remarkable about him. In fact the most remarkable thing about it was just how pedestrian the man seemed, but in a place like this....wherever this was..... he stuck out like a soar thumb! Even still, his black long sleeved shirt, beige pants, and brown cap were all well kept--whoever he was, the man took care of his things. Not that Jobymamushi was judging the man for his choice of garb--Joby himself was simply wearing grey slacks, a lavender button up shirt and tie, and some cookie-cutter black leather shoes. The only thing that might have stood out about his appearance would have been the two pockets on the front of his shirt; the sigils of the Revolutionary Army and the Marines, respectively, crossed out in red.

In either case, neither man was winning any fashion contests anytime soon.
Mirror D. Roogy said:

"Hello there," he shouted at the monkey-man standing thirty metres away from him. "Wanna be friends?"

--Nani?! A friend?! THANK HEAVENS!
As the man approached and extended his friendship, the pale light of the cold blue flames which surrounded them reflected off of his left eye in the most peculiar of ways--it caught Joby's attention. The man had a calm and almost disconcertingly soothing aura. If Jobymamushi had to sum up his presence in one word, he would call the man, an 'enigma'.

"Oi! Friend's? Sure! The name's Jobymamushi! I take it you're the one that evil wench dragged me here to fight?! Well I don't want any part of it! Leave me out of it! Its none of my business and all sounds dreary as hell to me! I've just had a dream, and it seems I have somewhere else I'd really oughta be! So be a pal, and show me the way out, thanks!

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: roogy
Weapon heard the monkey man introduce himself as Jobymamushi and call the goddess of death a wench. Haha, this Joby is either brave or ignorant... Hel is watching us even now. That is the power of a God... to see the entirety of a realm at once... like an observation haki that spreads across the entire world.

"You can leave if you want, but if I don't fight, Hel will take my soul. I think it would be better for us to fight as friends then as enemies, however, as a friendly spar can be beneficial to the both of us."

He thought of everything that was at stake. This was about his soul, and his eternal glory, sure, but this was about more than that. Loki had big plans. Hel probably had her own plans. He was their pawn, and there was nothing he could do about it. Perhaps he could team up with Joby and fight one or both of them... but they were Gods... surely an insurmountable task would get them both killed. Though if I were to die fighting the Gods, that would still be an honourable death, he thought. But, if he lost, then it wouldn't matter. Loki would still get his way. Ragnarok would come and that would be the end of everything in the nine realms. Maybe, if he fought Hel, he could find Loki's stolen face, and then Loki would no longer seek to use him to bring about the end of the world. However, there was the matter of Odin. Would Odin really start Ragnarok upon his arrival? Perhaps he could just ask Odin not to.

There was so much to unpack, that Weapon was internally scratching his head at all the politics of the Gods. Holy Thor, none of this shit is worth worrying about, he thought. I'll have one friendly spar with Joby and then go find this Hel and demand answers.

"So, what do you say? And so we're clear, my soul is on the line. I can understand not wanting any part of it, but this is important to me. The Goddess of Death wants to control my future, but I want the freedom to decide for myself."

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: joby
Mirror D. Roogy said:

"You can leave if you want, but if I don't fight, Hel will take my soul. I think it would be better for us to fight as friends then as enemies, however, as a friendly spar can be beneficial to the both of us."

Jobymamushi listened attentively to the man and waited patiently for him to introduce himself properly--all the while nodding his head and rubbing his chin pensively with his left hand. The man had a warm voice, Joby thought. Then man kinda just stopped talking and seemed to go into his own thoughts for a moment, which was fine since Joby just blankly stared at him..... waiting for him to introduce himself.... if there were any crickets in Niflheim, they would be chirping right about now.
Mirror D. Roogy said:

"So, what do you say? And so we're clear, my soul is on the line. I can understand not wanting any part of it, but this is important to me. The Goddess of Death wants to control my future, but I want the freedom to decide for myself."

What do I say? Joby thought to himself as he grimaced a bit and the vein on his forehead began to bulge out slightly.
Throwing both hands to his sides in a bit of a fit, the 11 ft tall proboscis monkey mink stomped his foot to the ground with a huff,
"What do I say? I say you want me to help you save your soul--without even telling me your name? Sheesh! Buy a mink a drink first pal! See here, I wish I could tell you what I was doing before I came here--I really don't remember--but I was doing something and it was somewhere other than wherever the hell this is. Since I am here though, let me give you some unsolicited advice from a stranger: if you don't want people to go around taking your soul, then just don't give it to them! Goddess of Death or Inn-Keeper of Death or Peasant of Death--High Priestess of Mumbo-Jumbo--WHATEVER! You control your future! You already have the freedom to decide for yourself what you do with it YAAHAAHAAH! Me? I'm gettin the Hell outa here..." Joby eyed his ominous and otherworldly surroundings, "...soon as I figure out how....."

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: roogy
Weapon heard Joby ramble and amongst the lengthy reply, he heard that he had not given his name. He was shocked by this. I could have sworn I introduced myself... is my mind playing tricks on me? He also heard the monkey-man defiantly claim that he had the freedom to decide his own future. Yeah, right. If Hel kills me, she still gets my soul. For the dead, there is no escaping this land. If I kill Hel, then Ragnarok would be brought down upon us. Is he suggesting that dying forever and taking everything else with you is worse than suffering in the afterlife? I must be losing my mind, because that idea sounds kind of good right now.

"I didn't already give my name? Forgive me, this place is making me nervous. My name is Acaremus Weapon."

Weapon paused for a moment, realising something as he looked at Joby.

"You look familiar, though I can't put my finger on it. Regardless, if you're so sure that I can control what happens to me in the afterlife... why don't you come with me to fight Hel? She's a formidable opponent, so I'm going to need help."

What are you doing? Do you think this will work out for you? I still haven't regained my face, you know!

Weapon heard Loki's voice echo through his head. None of it matters, dear friend, I'm going to die today!

You've lost your damn mind! Well, good luck, man. You'll need it.

Bakya bakya bakya, today is indeed a good day to die.

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: joby
Mirror D. Roogy said:

"I didn't already give my name? Forgive me, this place is making me nervous. My name is Acaremus Weapon."

Weapon paused for a moment, realising something as he looked at Joby.

"You look familiar, though I can't put my finger on it. Regardless, if you're so sure that I can control what happens to me in the afterlife... why don't you come with me to fight Hel? She's a formidable opponent, so I'm going to need help."

Jobymamushi listened to the man as he finally told him his name, nodding approvingly as he closed his eyes in thought, as if to savor the words. Hmmmm ‘Acaremus Weapon’ mhmm mhmm good strong name. After the introduction, the man paused and gave Joby a kinda ‘look’ as if to say ‘do I know you from somewhere? Is this fate?’. Oi! Oi! This boy ain’t tryin to flirt with me is he?? But the man spoke up again, this time enlisting Joby’s help in beating up the scary old hag from earlier.

The mink thought it over for a bit, pacing back and forth slightly and rubbing the bulbous lump that protruded from the top of his skull. Finally putting his foot down and turning to face Weapon, he spoke:

“Alright fine! I owe that bitch one for kidnapping me and trying to enlist me in this hairbrain plot in the first place—so I’ll happily lend a hand in showing her what’s for while I’m on my way out of here YAAAHAAHAAA!”

As Jobymamushi spoke, the blue flames around them grew taller and taller with an earie silence as their surroundings somehow grew darker and colder! A chill ran up Jobymamushi's spine and he could feel his skin starting to crawl!

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: roogy
Weapon was happy to hear that his newfound friend was eager to help him in his crusade against death itself. He wanted to say Let's go, but the words did not come out. Hel appeared floating above them in the arena.

"Did you really think you could plot against me in my own domain? You two are really hopeless. I guess you two leave me with no choice but to force you to fight. Now, Weapon, the only things you can speak are insults, attack names, or the word yield, and the only person you can attack is Joby. And as for you, Joby, well, I suppose I can give you a choice... refuse to fight your newfound friend, and ensure his eternal damnation, or accept the same stipulations as your friend, and fight until one of you yields."

"Helelelel!" Hel laughed a dry, wicked laugh that sent shivers through Weapon's entire body.

Damn this goddess... Forcing us to fight is the most unsporting thing she could have done. Still, she is the Goddess of Death. Defeating her would have ended badly for everyone, and being defeated would have ended badly for us.

Weapon wanted to say something to Joby, but knowing that his speech had been limited by the goddess, chose not to say anything. He wondered whether the monkey man would save himself or accept the conditions given to him.

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: joby
As the blue flames around them erupted upward into the darkness, a terrifying presence could be felt above them...

Mirror D. Roogy said:

"Did you really think you could plot against me in my own domain? You two are really hopeless. I guess you two leave me with no choice but to force you to fight. Now, Weapon, the only things you can speak are insults, attack names, or the word yield, and the only person you can attack is Joby. And as for you, Joby, well, I suppose I can give you a choice... refuse to fight your newfound friend, and ensure his eternal damnation, or accept the same stipulations as your friend, and fight until one of you yields."

"Helelelel!" Hel laughed a dry, wicked laugh that sent shivers through Weapon's entire body.

Bu-Bump! The large vein over Jobymamushi's right eye bulged out--almost squirming--as the words left the goddess's mouth. Oh? Of all the kinds of people and things in the world, there was only one which Jobymamushi truly hated..... those who tried to control. Under normal circumstances, he would have accepted Hel's offer to let Weapon to deal with his own mess and troubles and just leave--What do I look like, a priest? What's all this talk about saving peoples' souls yare yare-- Isn't she just going to take his soul anyways if I win? But for one reason or another, Joby decided to play along--if anything this was Weapon's trial and he deserved a chance to save his own soul. But that didn't mean Joby was going to let someone try and control him, and it didn't mean that he wasn't going to fight to win.

"OI!" he shouted while staring straight at Hel, "Fine, fine. I'll put on yer damned show for you, but keep yer grubby lil hands outa my head! I ain't accepting any of your dumb stipulations, but I'll put up a fight alright..."

As the words were leaving Joby's mouth, he passed his tiger fork over from his tail to his hands as he settled into his Standing Still Stance. Turning his gaze to Weapon, his expression was unstrained and calm, everything around him seemed to be moving-breathing even-in contrast to how perfectly still everything about Jobymamushi had become.

"Come."

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: roogy
Hel had heard Joby's words and laughed, though neither he nor Weapon could hear her at her current location. After all, she had teleported away to her throne, to watch the fight from afar.

"That Joby is a spirited animal. If he wants to fight of his own volition, then perhaps I can free the believer, as well."

She extended her voice so that it could be heard within Weapon's ears.

He heard the voice whisper in his ears. You are free to do as you wish... but do not do anything except fight, do you understand? Weapon wanted to nod, but her voice had him utterly petrified. Helelel... it is alright, I understand. Now fight your opponent!

Weapon wondered whether he should let Joby know that he was free... but decided that doing so might risk his will to fight. If he suddenly decides not to fight me, who knows what Hel could do to either of us in that moment. I have to keep up appearances... and if it becomes apparent that I have been freed, there will be no way to tell when exactly that occurred.

Unsure of how to even approach fighting his rather unique opponent, he simply unsheathed his claymore and held it front of him, waiting to see what his opponent would do next.

 

[Larsi]

Original post by: joby
Joby just stood there staring at Weapon. A long silence passed.

Weapon drew one of his two blades and pointed it at Joby assuming a stance that told him he would be waiting to see what the Mink did next before making his move.... the large vein on the side of Jobymamushi's temple flared up as the mink gritted his teeth down hard......

"WHAT THE HOLY FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT..... EH!?!?!?!?!"
The mink roared at the top of his rubbery lungs! If there was anything Joby hated in this world other than those who would try and control the wills and actions of others, it was those who couldn't make up their minds and settle on a decision.

"You take away this asshole's right to choose and force him to fight, and then you won't even have him make the first move? What kind of chicken shit is this? Fucking fight me! I told you to come dammit! If you just stand there ignoring me like some asshole, it makes me feel like a god damned asshole!"

Jobymamushi felt so indignant about the matter that he had completely forgotten he actually really didn't want to have to fight right now in the first place.
Drawing saliva and mucus into a wad at the back of his throat, Joby hocked a loogie the size of a softball right at Weapon's face! The projectile was essentially harmless, but pretty disgusting none the less.

JOBYJUTSU SECRET TECHNIQUE: "BORO BREATH"!