The Schneider Pirates were up to their usual antics, cruising along the North Blue, their ship bobbing merrily in the waves like a giant, goofy rubber duck. The ship’s figurehead, a big yellow bird, matched the oddly cheerful crew, who seemed far less concerned with piracy and more with having a blast.
Captain Schneider leaned lazily over the ship’s rail, one leg dangling over the edge as he yawned. “
Ahhh, such a fine day for... absolutely nothing.” His loud stretch ended with a sigh of contentment.
Trim, his first mate and a walking embodiment of snark, quipped, “
Captain, we could maybe think about doing some actual pirating? Just a thought.” He leaned on his scythe with an unimpressed look, his hair fluttering in the sea breeze.
“Pirating, smirating!” Schneider waved a hand dismissively. “
Where’s the joy in that? We’re here to have fun, aren’t we?”
From behind them, a loud bark interrupted. Buzz, their fluffy, ever-excitable canine companion, bounded across the deck, his tail wagging like mad. “
Woof! Woof!” the dog yipped, his body momentarily morphing into a larger, scarier version of himself—a result of his devil fruit powers—before promptly turning back to his fluffy self.
Trim stared at Buzz. “
Yeah... real terrifying, mate.” He glanced back at Schneider. “
We’re definitely the most fearsome crew on the seas…”
Suddenly, one of the crew members, Gumpy, a lanky pirate with a perpetually surprised expression, jumped out from the crow’s nest and tumbled to the deck with a loud thud. “
Cap’n! There’s a ship approaching! Probably a Marine vessel!”
Schneider grinned widely, standing up straight. “
Well, well, looks like we’ve got company.” He paused dramatically before his eyes sparkled.
“Let’s greet them... with pies!”
Trim facepalmed, muttering under his breath, “
It’s a wonder we’re still alive.”
With glee, Schneider ordered the crew to prepare their "
special artillery," which was a collection of pies, water balloons, and other ridiculous objects.
“
Man the pastry cannons!” Schneider yelled enthusiastically, pointing toward the horizon as if they were about to engage in a fierce battle.
Gumpy, still dazed from his fall, scrambled to load up cream pies, while Buzz happily pranced around, barking in approval. Meanwhile, Noodle, another crew member with an uncanny ability to tie himself into knots, was doing just that—knots—around the mast, for absolutely no reason.
As the Marine vessel came closer, its crew stared in absolute bewilderment. Were they actually under attack... by desserts?
“
FIRE!” Schneider shouted dramatically. A flurry of pies flew through the air.
The Marines... retreated.
Trim smirked, shaking his head. “
A formidable victory, Captain. Truly.”
Schneider stretched again, leaning back on the ship’s railing with a satisfied grin. “
See, Trim? Told you this was gonna be a fun day.”
The crew burst into laughter as their ship sailed on, basking in their ridiculous triumph. But while the sea has always been a playground for the Schneider Pirates, the winds of fate were shifting. Unbeknownst to them, danger loomed on the horizon—a far greater challenge than any pie fight. What they would soon face in these waters would make even Captain Schneider question whether this journey was still just for fun...
