General Corrupt the wish.

[Magimasterkarp]

Granted, but you cant tell anyone, and all your theories have to be wrong or you get sued.

I wish i hadnt overslept on that day 5 years ago. I did suddenly wake up at the correct time, but my alarm clock had missed a daylight savings thing and so i went to bed again. I bet that was future me trying to wake me and then another future me stopping me from waking myself to save the timeline or whatever. Fuck the timeline. I want a timemachine.

 

[joby]

Granted, but you cant tell anyone, and all your theories have to be wrong or you get sued.

I wish i hadnt overslept on that day 5 years ago. I did suddenly wake up at the correct time, but my alarm clock had missed a daylight savings thing and so i went to bed again. I bet that was future me trying to wake me and then another future me stopping me from waking myself to save the timeline or whatever. Fuck the timeline. I want a timemachine.

You get a time machine but it was crafted by an ancient alien civilization and it works by killing you and sending your data to a paired machine which exists at all points in the past—due to the aliens’ technological intervention within an artificially generated time loop— and reconstructing a conscious copy of you there. Also this copy is genderbent because ancient aliens DGAF.



I wish an ancient alien would kill me and upload my consciousness into a high-femme genderbent copy of myself lol.

 

[Magimasterkarp]

You get a time machine but it was crafted by an ancient alien civilization and it works by killing you and sending your data to a paired machine which exists at all points in the past—due to the aliens’ technological intervention within an artificially generated time loop— and reconstructing a conscious copy of you there. Also this copy is genderbent because ancient aliens DGAF.



I wish an ancient alien would kill me and upload my consciousness into a high-femme genderbent copy of myself lol.

Granted, but they mess up, and instead of right now, high femme genderbent copy-joby materializes in my bedroom 5 years ago, where and when, within a millisecond, she gets dematerialized by a future version of me, that traveled back in time with his own time machine to ensure that i overslept so that his timeline survives instead of the new timeline created by copy-joby in which i woke up early and thus never became a mad scientist that developed his own time machine and discovered the ancient aliens "before" their invasion of earth.

I wish i had a dematerialization gun.

 

[joby]

Granted, but they mess up, and instead of right now, high femme genderbent copy-joby materializes in my bedroom 5 years ago, where and when, within a millisecond, she gets dematerialized by a future version of me, that traveled back in time with his own time machine to ensure that i overslept so that his timeline survives instead of the new timeline created by copy-joby in which i woke up early and thus never became a mad scientist that developed his own time machine and discovered the ancient aliens "before" their invasion of earth.

I wish i had a dematerialization gun.

Granted, but it can only dematerialize fish.

I wish I could play piano

 

[Magimasterkarp]

Granted, but it can only dematerialize fish.

I wish I could play piano

Granted. You can play piano. As in, play pretend. You're playing that you are a piano.

I wish i didn't have to work tomorrow. Or that instead of 3,5 hrs sleep and 12 hrs work I get 12hrs sleep and 3,5hrs work.

 

[joby]

Granted. You can play piano. As in, play pretend. You're playing that you are a piano.

I wish i didn't have to work tomorrow. Or that instead of 3,5 hrs sleep and 12 hrs work I get 12hrs sleep and 3,5hrs work.

Granted, tonight I will use my time machine in the future to go back to the past—which is later tonight and turn off your alarms so you sleep in for a total of 12 hours of sleep and are late to work. You call in as you are hurriedly getting ready—but your supervisor says not to bother showing up ever again.
You spend a total of 3 and a half hours looking for a new job before falling back asleep.

I wish I had a job that I liked and was good at and that I could do during this fucking pandemic

 

[Mr. Doflamingo]

Granted but the pay is very low
I wish I can marry my celebrity crush

 

[joby]

Granted but the pay is very low
I wish I can marry my celebrity crush

Granted, but you have 7 pet skunks that cannot be house trained no matter how hard you try and can never have guests over.

I wish the world was a little bit friendlier a place

 

[Mr. Doflamingo]

Granted but the population is wiped out 90% and you are one of them

I wish someone treat me delicious kobe beef steak in michelin star restaurant

 

[Ryu Kishi]

Granted but unfortunately the stake was over cooked.

I wish I could teleport.

 

[Imperfection]

Granted, but you can only teleport up to 10 yards at a time and it has a cooldown period of 5 minutes.

I wish I could fly

 

[Rej]

Granted, but every time you lift off you getting hungry!

I wish I'd never live alone.

 

[Mr. Doflamingo]

granted but you will be terrorized by yandere partner everyday

I wish my RTX 3080 and Ryzen 5600X that I just ordered will arrive on time this month

 

[Rej]

granted but you will be terrorized by yandere partner everyday

I wish my RTX 3080 and Ryzen 5600X that I just ordered will arrive on time this month

Granted, but the package will be coated with bull-poo-poo

I wish Kureiji Ollie would be my waifu xD

 

[Shottie]

Granted, but the package will be coated with bull-poo-poo

I wish Kureiji Ollie would be my waifu xD

Granted but she's too much for you to handle and she terrifies you.


I wish Brendan Fraiser made another Mummy movie

 

[Mr. Doflamingo]

Granted but it will be worse than the prequel

I wish someone give me RTX 3090 for my christmas gift

 

[Rej]

Granted, but it carries a trojan with it, slowly destroying your PC over time and you can't stop it.

I wish Takanashi Kiara would be my waifu xd

 

[Magimasterkarp]

Granted, but it carries a trojan with it, slowly destroying your PC over time and you can't stop it.

I wish Takanashi Kiara would be my waifu xd

Granted, but everyone will think you're crazy. You get locked away in an asylum.

I wish that once a year, every tool optimized for right handed people flips to be optimized for left handed people. Also, all the words inspired by handedness (right, righteous, dexterity; sinister, two left feet, etc.) should flip their meaning.

 

[Mr. Doflamingo]

granted but you pay extra for tools that is optimized for the left-handed tools

I wish I cannot get hangover after party hard

 

[Rej]

granted, but you will never be able to sleep again

I wish to have an unlimited supply of all different kinds of iced teas of the world